Ladies and Gentlemen,

Today, we gather here not only to mourn the passing of Universal Analytics but also to celebrate the lively spirit it brought into the world of data analysis. Universal Analytics was not just a tool; it had a vibrant personality that made our data-driven adventures all the more enjoyable. Let us remember the joy it brought and honor its legacy with a smile on our faces.

Universal Analytics, born in 2012, was the life of the digital analytics party. It was the proud child of Google Analytics, and it inherited its parent’s curiosity and analytical prowess. From a young age, Universal Analytics showed a keen interest in understanding user behavior and delivering insights that made our heads spin. It was like the Sherlock Holmes of data, always uncovering hidden patterns and solving mysteries.

When Universal Analytics wasn’t busy crunching numbers, it had a delightful array of hobbies that kept it entertained. It loved taking long strolls through the intricate pathways of website traffic, finding hidden gems of information along the way. It would often dive headfirst into the deep sea of conversion rates, swimming gracefully through the waves of data. And on the weekends, it would organize grand parties for all the data points, making sure each one felt valued and appreciated.

Oh, the memories we shared with Universal Analytics! We would sit around, sipping our coffee, and marvel at the insights it revealed. Remember the time it uncovered a group of visitors who only landed on our website because they were looking for cute cat videos? It had us rolling with laughter as we pondered the implications of feline-infused marketing strategies. Universal Analytics had a knack for turning serious data discussions into moments of pure joy.

But alas, time marches on, and the digital landscape evolves. Universal Analytics, though beloved, couldn’t keep up with the fast-paced world of multi-device tracking and cross-platform analytics. It gracefully passed the baton to its successor, Google Analytics 4, ensuring that the legacy of insightful data analysis would live on.

So, today, let us bid farewell to our dear friend Universal Analytics, the life of the party, the jester of metrics. Let us remember the laughter it brought, the discoveries it unveiled, and the joy it infused into our data-driven lives. As we embark on new analytics adventures, let its spirit guide us, reminding us to embrace the fun and find delight in the depths of data.

Rest in peace, Universal Analytics. Your legacy will forever be cherished.

Thank you, and let’s raise a glass to the wonderful memories we shared!