Effective networking is not easy. Those who are really good make it look natural and effortless, but that comes from lots of practice and refinement. What many people don’t realize is that the best networkers have strategies and goals for each event, and tactics that change based on the situation.
What does that look like from a practical perspective? One approach is to think of your networking strategy as proactive or reactive and adjust your interactions accordingly. Proactive networking is more aggressive and appropriate for business events where networking is expected. Of course, you should still have a goal (make three meaningful introductions, collect 10 business cards, etc.) and you’ll always do better when you focus on making connections vs selling, but networking events are meant to be proactive.
Reactive networking is more subtle. It works better in social interactions. The key to this approach is that you react to what others say and answer questions. You don’t tell people about your company, products or services unless you are asked. And then it’s best to stay reactive – let them ask YOU questions, and keep your responses conversational, not salesy. That’s a challenge because it’s easy to slip into sales mode when you think someone is genuinely interested in your products or services.
For example, say you’re at a wine-tasting event or end-of-season kids soccer team celebration, and someone asks, “What do you do?”
Sales coaches will suggest sharing your elevator speech: “Well, Tom, my company helps homeowners keep the cold air out and the warm air in so their homes are comfortable all year. Our products help lower energy costs, increase curb appeal and improve the home’s value – they practically pay for themselves! Do you ever feel drafts around your windows and doors?” That’s aggressive in a social setting.
A better approach is to answer the question and let the other person decide if they want to know more. “Well, Tom, I’m in the home improvement business.” And let the other person ask more questions if they are curious. Think of your answers like a funnel – start general, and get more specific if they ask. Social settings are also an opportunity to talk about what you enjoy in your work, too (again, if asked) without being salesy. “I enjoy meeting new people and learning about them and their families” is less aggressive than “I enjoy meeting new people and helping them get a great deal on new windows.”
It can be a delicate balancing act, so here’s a tip if you find yourself slipping into proactive networking mode. Simply stop and apologize. “Wait, I’m sorry. I love what I do, and it’s easy for me to slip into sales mode. I’m happy to answer any questions you may have, but otherwise, let’s talk about life outside of work.”
The best part of reactive networking is that if someone is genuinely curious about your product or service, they will keep asking questions and clearly indicate their interest. That’s a much stronger lead and the conversation puts you well on the way to building trust and rapport.
